By definition Closure is:”an often comforting or satisfying sense of finality”
It’s kind of a rare thing to feel like you have everything in your present life together. I still have bills to pay and less money coming in, but as far as my well-being goes, I can’t really complain much at all.
I exercise every single day. I don’t smoke and I quit drinking. I watch less TV and sleep better than I have in years. I’m very grateful that my biggest problem of the day is what I will have for lunch or dinner, because I know that many don’t have it so easy.
No, the things that bother me are deep in my mind. Issues from past relationships and friendships, things that I wish I could resolve but I either don’t have the courage to or I know it would be almost meaningless.
The unresolved issues I have built up over the years have set up permanent residence in my head, even though I have moved on in my life with success in marriage and my career. But if that’s true, then why do these things linger around?
Having “closure” usually gives you the fuel you need to move on. It’s a definitive act that allows you to let go and finally get over whatever your problem is.
How do you get closure, when in some cases you don’t even know where the person is? It’s important to you, but is it important to them? Would they even care, or think you’re nuts for holding onto something for so long?
If I could, I wish I could put all the people I need to talk to in one room. I’d sit at the front in a chair, with my list, while all the people I needed to talk to waited in line to hear me spill my guts about how I wronged them, how I wish things could have been different, and ask if they’re OK now. You know, because I’m sure they’ve been waiting all these years to hear this from me. (sarcasm alert)
In other cases, I’d like to tell people how much their actions hurt me. I’d tell them that I moved on, but that they needed to to understand how they hurt me. Closure.
I really don’t know what someone’s reaction would be. If someone I knew came up to me and wanted to apologize for something they had done in the past, I suppose I would listen to them, and probably thank them and let them know everything was OK. Closure.
The reason it eats away at me is because I can’t accept the fact that the other person is OK and it doesn’t bother them. Sure, they would be happy with an explanation or even an apology, but the real problem is on my side, because I need the issue resolved.
I need the closure, not them.
Do you have anything you can’t let go? Wish you could tell the person but can’t for some reason? Let me know in the comments.