Lately I haven’t been in the best mood. This resulted in my lack of postings last week and no motivation to post anything over the weekend. I’m trying to work through some issues, but unfortunately the problems I’m having are an exhausting mental battle.
I’ve been trying different techniques, but so far the stress just seems to linger around and it’s ruining my mood. I only had one short run in the past five days, and it was terrible.
I feel like I need some peace and quiet, a kind of solitary confinement for a while just so I can listen to my thoughts and get them organized and focused again.
One thing I did think of was how I got control of my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. For a lot of years, I didn’t know why I would check door locks repeatedly, or go over the house 20 times to make sure I didn’t leave something plugged-in or turned on.
I’m not sure when the OCD started, but it certainly intensified when I was a teenager. I am paranoid about safety, specifically door locks and things that are fire hazards. For example, when I leave my house, I will hold the door lock and twist it to be sure it’s locked. I will turn the knob five or six times, and I will also come back and check the same lock several times. I also do the same with car door locks.
Sometimes I can control it, sometimes I can’t.
With fire hazards, I check to make sure nothing is plugged in that shouldn’t be (like a curling iron or stove), and I will check the items to make sure they are cool to the touch. While I know that there are plenty of other things that could start a fire, I have to check these things repeatedly. Again, I do this process five or six times.
If you don’t have OCD, hearing someone describe these actions must sound like insanity. If you can believe it, I’ve actually improved quite a bit. It used to take me close to 30 minutes to leave the house because I was checking locks and fire hazards, and I would still be stressed that I missed something.
The way I got better was to understand my problem, and kind of retrain myself to reduce the number of times I was checking something.
What I do know, for example, is to spend a longer time holding the object, like the door lock, and just turn it once and then I tell myself that it’s locked. Or, I tell myself over and over that I unplugged the toaster oven. I still check things multiple times, but that technique helps.
I can’t imagine what OCD is like for people who have it far worse than I do; it must be really horrible.
But what I’m trying to learn from this is that if I can overcome something like OCD (which I felt was taking over my brain) then I can certainly learn to deal with other types of stress in similar ways. I may not be able to handle everything, but I don’t have to let it overtake me.
Do you have any conditions, disorders or even quirks you wish you didn’t? How do you deal with them?